epidemic

A terrible epidemic has struck our classroom. No, not the swine flu. Worse. Cholera. Yes I know, you thought cholera was a thing of the past. Well, you're right. However, my class is also a thing of the past, as in we are currently traveling the Oregon Trail. We have crossed the Platte River, gone through Forts Kearney and Laramie, and just stopped by Independence Rock. Unfortunately we met a vagrant who had recently contracted cholera and exposed everyone in our wagon companies. In my first class they were all too healthy and every stinkin one of them lived. Bummer. How boring is that? So in the next class I made sure they were already a little weak before I hit them with Captain Cholera. I was successful, but only just barely, I only lost one kid. However, my last class went much better: three casualties. It was very tragic. We had a moment of silence for our lost comrades. Mind you it was a quick moment since time is of the essence on the Trail. Perhaps in a few decades the invention of antibiotics will improve life expectancy. Now the only question is: what to do with the deceased pioneers while the rest of us continue on to the Oregon territory? Hmm... life's questions.


Now, I shall close with one of the many fantastic lines from this wonderful movie everyone should see: "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
Magorium tries to fly model airplanes around the store to no avail and cries out in panic:
"Mahoney! The laws of gravity have begun to apply!"

-Ang

Misc

There is nothing terribly important going on in my life currently, but I felt it was time to blog. I have spent the last 40 minutes looking through other people's blogs, laughing hysterically, and looking around sadly because there is no one here to share my giggles with. Riley is a Shiloh, aunty went home after Bible study was over, and my phone is sitting over there on the couch so I can't call anyone (at least not without getting up from this chair which is out of the question). So here I am on my favorite chair reading blogs and thinking about life. I really have nothing in particular to discuss, so I have decided to take a page out of my mother's life book and make a list. So here's my list of things I am thinking on Saturday, April 25 at roughly 12:07 (or 10:18 if you go by my cute red clock on top of my bookshelf, or 12:08 if you are looking at the coffee cup clock in the kitchen, oh wait, that one is actually correct, Riley must have reset it):
1. I have to pee. Why is it that all good things must be interrupted by my bladder? Perhaps it's hereditary, after all, aunty had to excuse herself twice during Bible study this morning to use the facilities.
2. Could I survive as a vegetarian? I was reading about the health benefits of eating natural foods and thought it sounded like a good idea. But let's be realistic, I don't like most vegetables. I find them offensive.
3. I think I am going to have to buy new slippers. I have the greatest slippers in the whole wide world, but they are starting to fall apart. Is it possible to find slippers as comfortable as these?
4. There needs to be a lamp somewhere in the dark corner of our living room. We have a wimpy overhead light, a lamp by the kitchen, but no light on the other side of the couch by the hallway. Maybe I could find some cute light to put there. Maybe I could go to second-hand shops or antique places and try to find something a little retro. I am still jealous of the lamp Alli pulled out of grandma's garage. Maybe someday she will get tired of it and let me have it. I would even buy it from her!
5. Why does my fridge make helicopter sounds?
6. The need to pee is taking control of my thoughts so I am going to go now. Have a great weekend!

-Ang

The curiosity of teaching

The last few days have been hectic at school. The dreaded state tests are next week and we are frantically cramming everything down their throats thinking that something will miraculously stick and they will all pass with flying colors, causing the district to say "wow, check out those fifth grade teachers, they're probably the best thing to happen to this school since the new parking lot. We should give them a massive raise since they are making us look so good" (just so you know, in my head that was said in a Strongbad voice. IF you are just not that cool and don't know who Strongbad is, check out homestarrunner.com and enlighten yourself). Anyhow, here's some highlights of my week:

Monday: walking down hallway after dropping my kids off at lunch

-Second grader- taps my arm

-Me- looks down to see what insignificant child could be wasting my lunch time

-Second grader- tells me pointless story about how sometimes things make him think of other things and about how that happened just now.

-Second grader- walks away

-Me- wondering if I was wearing a sign that says "please tell me about your thoughts"

Later that afternoon after dropping my kids off at Music...

-Second/Third grader (they are very similar in size and I don't pay attention to anyone below fifth grade)- walks by with new eraser in her hand. Stares at it like it holds the secret to the universe. Looks and me and says "Now I can go hunting with my dad".

Me- wonders how an eraser can evoke such a comment. Was that the last part you needed to complete your hunting rifle? Will you give the eraser to your dad in exchange for the hunting trip? Do multi-colored erasers possess great monetary value? Or perhaps this is just national "Tell Mrs. D random crap day".

Wednesday
Some of my students decide to start businesses of making nametags to put on desks. Signs are posted on the door advertising services. Students flock to door to read sign. Time is wasted making name tags instead of doing class work. My last roll of scotch tape is used up because when the name tag is done you then have to adhere it to your desk. At the end of the day I take down the signs like the grinch I am and make a mental note to do an economics lesson where they get to create their own businesses... later.... after testing.

Thursday
My day takes a turn for the worst at 8:24 when I start trying to explain adverbs to a student (which we have been talking about the last 2 weeks). I am really grumpy by about 8:48 when student is still clueless and I have not gone over morning work yet. My mood worsens at 10:04 after we have switched classes the second time and I discover copious amounts of pencil shavings on the floor around my trash can and covering the corner of my desk. My brand new electric pencil sharpener decided to stop working a few days ago and we have been reduced to the primitive hand sharpener. I have a few in my top desk drawer which I allow the class to use, but apparently I failed to specify where I would like the shavings to end up, like not on my DESK!!! I was hacked. I then gave each of my three classes a brief tutorial on how to sharpen a pencil by hand and not make a mess. There was a lot of sarcasm involved. They tell you never to use sarcasm when you are in teacher school but I disagree, it is a very handy tool (so long as you use it on fifth graders who get your sense of humor and not first graders who cry easily).

Anyway, my week was at least short since we had parent-teacher conferences Tuesday and Thursday and have the day off today. Sorry I drug on for this long. Happy Easter!

-Ang