The curiosity of teaching

The last few days have been hectic at school. The dreaded state tests are next week and we are frantically cramming everything down their throats thinking that something will miraculously stick and they will all pass with flying colors, causing the district to say "wow, check out those fifth grade teachers, they're probably the best thing to happen to this school since the new parking lot. We should give them a massive raise since they are making us look so good" (just so you know, in my head that was said in a Strongbad voice. IF you are just not that cool and don't know who Strongbad is, check out homestarrunner.com and enlighten yourself). Anyhow, here's some highlights of my week:

Monday: walking down hallway after dropping my kids off at lunch

-Second grader- taps my arm

-Me- looks down to see what insignificant child could be wasting my lunch time

-Second grader- tells me pointless story about how sometimes things make him think of other things and about how that happened just now.

-Second grader- walks away

-Me- wondering if I was wearing a sign that says "please tell me about your thoughts"

Later that afternoon after dropping my kids off at Music...

-Second/Third grader (they are very similar in size and I don't pay attention to anyone below fifth grade)- walks by with new eraser in her hand. Stares at it like it holds the secret to the universe. Looks and me and says "Now I can go hunting with my dad".

Me- wonders how an eraser can evoke such a comment. Was that the last part you needed to complete your hunting rifle? Will you give the eraser to your dad in exchange for the hunting trip? Do multi-colored erasers possess great monetary value? Or perhaps this is just national "Tell Mrs. D random crap day".

Wednesday
Some of my students decide to start businesses of making nametags to put on desks. Signs are posted on the door advertising services. Students flock to door to read sign. Time is wasted making name tags instead of doing class work. My last roll of scotch tape is used up because when the name tag is done you then have to adhere it to your desk. At the end of the day I take down the signs like the grinch I am and make a mental note to do an economics lesson where they get to create their own businesses... later.... after testing.

Thursday
My day takes a turn for the worst at 8:24 when I start trying to explain adverbs to a student (which we have been talking about the last 2 weeks). I am really grumpy by about 8:48 when student is still clueless and I have not gone over morning work yet. My mood worsens at 10:04 after we have switched classes the second time and I discover copious amounts of pencil shavings on the floor around my trash can and covering the corner of my desk. My brand new electric pencil sharpener decided to stop working a few days ago and we have been reduced to the primitive hand sharpener. I have a few in my top desk drawer which I allow the class to use, but apparently I failed to specify where I would like the shavings to end up, like not on my DESK!!! I was hacked. I then gave each of my three classes a brief tutorial on how to sharpen a pencil by hand and not make a mess. There was a lot of sarcasm involved. They tell you never to use sarcasm when you are in teacher school but I disagree, it is a very handy tool (so long as you use it on fifth graders who get your sense of humor and not first graders who cry easily).

Anyway, my week was at least short since we had parent-teacher conferences Tuesday and Thursday and have the day off today. Sorry I drug on for this long. Happy Easter!

-Ang